Do you know that Singapore is geographically located at a lightning prone region? The occurrence of lightning activity in Singapore is one of the highest in the world. So to celebrate for having such a good sunny weather today, I shall post some of my childish photos ( hahaha).
Chinese New Year (CNY) is around the corner, my mum is busy baking the traditional pineapple tarts. Many of my friends tried and want more so yeah business is good :) School started two weeks ago and I have not done my spring cleaning yet. I am having a hard time applying for summer studies overseas due to some unjustifiable reasons. Oh well, have faith :)
I found this article shared by a friend of mine on FB. It's about friend-love. This reminds me of Mr Z which I probably did not realise I am feeling this way till I saw this awesome comic strip. So I would like to share it here too. From Sadiemagazine. (http://www.sadiemagazine.com/issue-no-11/arts-letters/comic/i-think-i-am-in-friend-love-with-you) by Yumi Sakugawa.
Done salvaging my photos on the Blog. There's no way I can get it back. So please don't ever link your google account's photos with your smart phone if you are as careless as me. :(
Alright, it's been days since exam has ended. I'm still trying to adjust to a slower pace without any deadlines to rush. I am slowly planning a list of things I want to do before another horrible semester starts.
The second half of the year while I was doing my part time job as an admin and relief teacher, I joined a camp in my school hoping to socialise more. With this thinking in mind, I thought I would made a few new friends but I didn't. Okay I did make some new friends but not as many as I thought I would.
I still vividly remember that day when I went to for the pre-camp. I met this guy while waiting for the bicycle ride to start. He gave me that kind of feeling which I hasn't felt for the past 3 years. To pinpoint exactly what is it he has that attracted me, is a tough question. Initially I felt really uncomfortable with his presence around coz he gave me that type of unapproachable feeling. Well, he is not aloof, he is quite chatty but I don't know why I just feel anxious around him.
So for today's post I would like to delicate to this new friend I made coz I am really happy to know him but probably that's it. I will save a space to remember this passer-by (shall call him zee) in my uni days and jot down the details before my memories fail me.
I was trying out my first ride on a tandem bicycle with my girl friend. We were having a hard time trying to balance ourselves, needless to say, to ride it. Hahah I don't know is it because of welfare, z was particularly concern that we might fall. In the end he suggested we should stop. My friend stopped but I find it a shame if I don't get it right. (okay I am that stubborn I know). So I paired up with another guy friend of mine. Guy is stronger right and eventually I got it right hahah so happy.
I ride the normal bicycle through out the whole exercise and we took really long to finish it. On the way to the destination, I realise that Singapore indeed has places that are scenic.After the ride ended, it was really boring. Night fall and time for bbq. I sat there helplessly looking at other people chatting and I am down there stonning. They all knew each other previously through the camp last year as a freshie. At this point in time I was thinking of withdrawing from the camp as I find it tiring to socialise but on the other hand.. I promised my friend to accompany her. It's really bad to go back on my words. I was very distress back then.
Having so many thoughts on my mind, z suddenly speaks to me. That awkward moment when you hear the wrong sentence... kills me. He was keen to find out more about my cca but I just heard him asking for my name. He is nice enough to answer me but I really wanted to dig a hole and just hide there forever. So subsequently I felt so awkward that I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't stay overnight at the chalet and I went home.
That night was a very long night for me. I needed some time alone. I needed space to consider what do I want to do and what is it that I'm looking for, I had identity crisis. Woke up with a heavy heart, I was surprise to see a friend request from him. Perhaps its because of the awkward mistake of exchanging names that allow us to be friends. I believe in fate, if it happens, its all destined to happen. After that day we started chatting. He's impression to me grows as we chatted.
I am not sure whether did I perceived him correctly. To me, he is someone who can think on his feet, a very rational person, smart and organise, discipline and and have goals in life. A typical leader to be. He has he's own opinion in everything he do, he said he don't like to be a follower and he is really serious when he has to. I guess that's what makes him charming? hahaha
Of course he has his not so charming side. He is frank when he comes to he's personal preference. Sounds a bit shallow but he brought out some points which are inevitably true.The similarity I found between us is that he get bored for things easily. He likes freedom so do I. I am really starting to like this friend. We chatted all the way till the actual day of the camp.
Probably I think too much but I really liked the way he acknowledged my presence. A simple eye contact and a smile so much so different from other people who are there. I felt he's sincerity to be friend with me, But because he's rather busy, we hardly talk. Then there comes a night after my sub committee activity is over, it was a long night and I didn't had much for dinner and it was freaking 2 am. I went back to my sub-comm chalet waiting for my turn to bath but my stomach is growling. I won't forget his sweet regards after the activity has ended. I told him I was hungry and we went out for supper. I am really shock because I knew if I had to ask anyone.. no one would bother about me and I probably have to starve. He's my saviour!
It was really late, Before I left the chalet I told my housemates not to lock the door and upon leaving I saw them drinking tap water. So I went to buy a few bottle drinks for them after my supper.
It was a long walk back to the chalet. I thought I have to carry two 2L mineral water back to the chalet at 4am alone. It was kind of scary coz beside that long scratch of road is the old changi hospital. I only realise it in the next morning. Anyway, I am really touch when z say he will walk me back.. well I know he is scare too hahah I am not trying to put up a strong side in front of my friends. I just want to present myself as not a liabilty to anyone.We chatted a lot on the way back, It was a nice stroll that day.
To make things more dramatic, my housemates really forgotten and locked me outside the chalet.. Gosh I haven't even bath.. :( Called my friend but she didn't pick up. I am really sorry that I have to create some disturbing noise at the windows so as to wake her up. But z say he would have accompany me to watch sunrise if no one is there to open the door.
Ever since the camp ended we still stay in contact for awhile before sch started. I think my greatest joy in the camp is to know him. But recently, I was discussing with a close friend of mine and she do agree with me that sometimes even when we have no time to keep in contact with each other. A small mindful wishes during birthday will show how much that person means to you. I am a little upset about this coz probably I am more like a fool treating him as a friend while he probably just think that I am he's usual get bored and cast aside friend.
Nonetheless, these are all the pleasent memories.
One last blog before my semester starts. It's August, time flies. Strangely, all the disturbing feelings are gone. I am feeling rather peaceful now. There's so many things I want to try, I really cant wait to see what the future has for me. All the people who used to stain my life are no longer disturbing to me. I've prepared myself to run into someone who I dislike. My hatred for that person seems to subdue. Seeing that person might bring back some terrible memories but I feel more like a stranger or a third party now whenever I talk about the incident. All is gone. Just let it subside and let's move on. I know, coz I deserve something better.
It's July! My work ended so is my camp. Few more weeks to go and everything shall be back to the same-study. Weather was quite warm and dry in june, now that it enters july, its a rainy season hahah feels like Christmas. 2007 Christmas. Awww I don't like rainy days :( will feel emotional.
I am having a serious problem with my memories now. Its so serious that it started to affect my daily life. I can forget who I've spoken to and what is it that I've said an hour ago. I don't remember what have I promised and even up to the point where I can completely forgot what did I do. I am kinda worried. My boyfriend said this maybe due to the fact that I am suffering from identity crisis.
I guess I better figure out who I am as soon as possible. Such bad memories won't help when it comes to study hahah. Alright need some fresh air.